Since I last posted on Friday, I went up to a normal level and then down again last night. I thought I’d sleep it off, but apparently that hasn’t worked. I’m hoping this mood won’t last all day. I’ve just had a two hour nap in the hopes that sleep would help, but once again I was wrong. There’s still some of the day left, I may go up yet.
Yesterday was odd. It was another of those moods that I can’t quite put my finger on. It wasn’t manic, but it wasn’t depressed. I also doubt it would qualify as euthymic either, I wasn’t ‘happy’. I was deadened and distant. I went to bed at 9pm and slept 12 hours, so obviously my energy levels are quite low. I keep hearing music. The sort I know is in my head. I’m getting those weird phrases running through my head like “does she know there are only twelve cheeses now?” and “it’s funny the way sideways stairs live in crooked houses.” I’m not quite with it. I hate myself. I suppose all this adds up to me being depressed, but it’s not my usual sort of depressed.
Wetherspoons on Friday night was awful. With the exception of Carla, everyone was as self centred as I remember. I was thinking that perhaps I’d blown their arrogance out of proportion, and let’s face it, mine is not the most reliable mind in the world. Too bad I hadn’t. I can’t bring myself to do this essay. I don’t care what the causes of the English Civil War were. And I have another headache. Hopefully that’s all the ranting done for a while now
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